aimee=DD

it seems like everytime my family wil noe when i'm depressed or sad and i do get kinda guilty making them worry for me.
i'm the kind of person who will keep my troubles within me. like today, after physics test, i really felt very useless. like why could others get the answer while i cant. i must be really dumb man. i noe others try to comfort me by saying like they oso dunno how to do but i noe they do noe how to do it. just saying things to cheer me up. thx anyway. however, some thoughts that i have inside me, i really cant bring myself to say it out. to friends, i just think that relationships between friends should just maintain as the way it is now, just being happy together. t family, i dun want them to worry. i just cant really find a suitable person to really share my deepest troubles and help me out too.
even when my family show concern to me, i still dun realy tell them the total truth, i sorta just answered in a very fu1 yan3 way.
i dunno. i just cant. i'm those kind who will just put it within myself and just let myself get over it with time. normally, when i'm tired or sad, i just keep quiet. ppl ard me will noe something is wrong and try to like comfort me and all, but it really does just go in and come out. probably, i just need some time and space. i noe keeping i to myself doesn't really solve the matter but just probably, time will wash away al my troubles and everyting will just be alright by the end of the day.
this week really sucks man. my csc test and phy test...flopped both of it.
i feel like i've disappointed those who expected better frm me and also, disappointed myself. i blame myself for not being able to do better and just keep asking myself why why why and why...

maybe alot of ppl wil say just do better the next time round but i just cant help brooding over what has happened and what i could have done to not let myself regret. i often cheer ppl up but when it comes to myself, i just couldn't help myself. and, i dun even let others help me, i dun want others to help me, i just wallow in my own self pity.

wl, theres probably really something wrong with my personality. probably i'm not the amelia that ppl tink i am. probably i'm not the amelia that I think I am.
really random thoughts..